#but couldnt get myself to delete this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theflirtmeister · 4 months ago

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My cat died over the weekend whilst I was away from home. Before I knew, I had a dream where we were sitting outside in the garden and he was fat again and happy.

#also hi i had a bad mental breakdown and deleted all social media and thinking about being online makes me want to kill myself #anyway my cat died + i miss him already + i cant believe i'll never get yelled at again or get claws stuck in my leg or hold him like a bab #he used to make biscuits constantly even if he was just sitting on the floor like he was so full of love #he used to lay on the path in the hope that strangers would pet him #he got so fucking thin and confused and couldnt meow anymore #anyway i'm off to delete tumblr again

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hollowfairybabybat · 8 months ago

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POV: i invited you over to smoke but now were on the bathroom floor n im making u use a gravity bong and listen 2 weird meme music before i info dump on things bc idk how 2 b normal

#might delete bc its kinda cringe n i couldnt take myself seriously but i talk in this lol #but i like getting high in the bathrooms if im gonna sing along to music n im prolly gonna listen 2 hadestown songs i like singing 2 rn soo #anyway if u thought i was hot n cool this is ur proof im not lmao #batbaby

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coridallasmultipass · 7 months ago

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Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

#i hate that i let that get to me lmao just ruined my fucking day ive been sitting here sobbing for like an hour #i cant tell anyone just how much i dont even want to try any more bc i dont see the point #medical issues and mental issues dont pair well and i dunno if im even gonna be able to survive the next flare up #i dont need fandom spaces telling me to die when im already telling myself that every fucking day #also why does my age always get brought up lmao i didnt choose to be born 30 years ago stop telling me im old #my body has been telling me im old since age 11 you dont know what ive fucking been thru #30 was just a formality and serves as another reminder of how ill never meet societys expectations for a 30yo lmao #my point is. you should try showing a little more kindness if telling someone to die comes so easily #ive literally never once told anyone to die in my life. you just dont fucking go there. what if they kill themself right after that?#can you live knowing they did so on your command?#i couldnt #thats just like beyond fucked up #anyway im gonna go try and stop crying #ill prob stay off tumblr today idk i feel real sick lol #delete later / /#i hate that i cant exist as myself either in person (too queer and closeted in a rural area) or online (too queer and weird ships)#anyway

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triglycercule · 17 days ago

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who made the mtt. and no i dont mean like who made the CONCEPT of the murder time trio (because i know who that is. touken kamui i thank you for the fangame every day :3) but like,,,, who decided to just randomly pair these 3 together?? like whaaaat.......

part of me wants to believe it was rahafwabas with the whole bad sanses group thingy being made with those 3 in there and then like. the fangame just gave them specifically a seperate group name. but STILL,,,,, where did this trio come from

#so rain of dust got a reboot a couple of months ago and now triple the insanity did too #and my newest favorite detail in the video is that theres a section where dust and killer's sprites are #glitching out. wanna know why??? BECAUSE HORROR GOT DELETED MTT BETTA THEY ALWAYS TOGETHER #insanity is just a horror replacement i fear i dont understand at all why he's even in the trio #WHY IS IT A TRIO. IF THERE'S A SUPPOSED FOURTH. THATS A SQUAD BRO #istg he was just added there for like shock factor or smth bc horror wasn't powerful enough to keep up #it saddens me so much to have him here but also that means it saddens kist as well :3 #and killer and dust's sprites are red while insanity's is purple #YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM INSANITY!!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE HORROR I FEAR #idc what anyone says idc how many people shit on the mtt fangsme concept i LOVE IT #its like one of the few mtt content i get that doesnt involve nightmare #like. ok. bad sanses cool. i however could not give two shits about the oil monstrosity and cross #please i need my own little seperate island to myself where only i get to enjoy the mtt reboot songs #cycle of endless death against a common foe. they HAVE to learn how to work together no matter what #its not like they can just give up (looking at you horror) because the human will keep on killing again and again #waaait waaaaait in an mtt fangame dynamic horror would also experience the genocides :3 awww shared truama :3 #isnt it so badass that horror literally had to get DELETED because he couldnt die and therefore the human got mad #ok fine maybe im glad theres at least a reason my boy got removed from the trio but still #the human can kill dust and killer as many times as they want. the other two will keep trying to stop them bc of dt #but horror CANT die. theres no fun in that. and one day he'll just give up. that's not amusing at all #i find it nice. a cute little parallel between the 3 :3 now horror gets his own personal genocidal human experience #man the mtt fangame human is smart asf like. DAMN. i forgot bro could just erase the trio #anyways i think that it's a good concept IDC. why are they stuck in the endless loop of human kill human reset? idk lemme check #i forgot that gaster was involved in this fuckass au LMAO but at least he's not THAT involved. more like a background character #the satsujinki was created only for murder. does it have any other thoughts? any other wants and needs? i love it so much my baby #and then the phase after that just consists of my trio emptily operating off the faintest instincts they have #after all this time spent together fighting do they not instinctually long for eachother?#me imagining these empty husks to hold hands and hug. as if theyd only truly be able to coexist peacefully with their minds lost #but at least theyre together. at least theyre always together forever :3 even if they don't know anything else #tricule rant

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ragnars-tooth · 27 days ago

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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

#rangnar rambles #i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later #and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts #i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me #'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything #even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across #like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere #and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go #i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical #ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting #its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays #thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd #its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again #but eh soo la voo we ball #HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard #5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is #this is why youll never catch me running a queue #this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in #ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now #if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened

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sleepysuburb · 2 months ago

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guys I think I need to remember that if I go on t I won't become a totally different unrecognisable person

#im so scared of losing myself and becoming a horrible macho man. which i hate #i have to remember that ill retain my interests and my feminine body language #which btw my drama teacher had to FORCE out of me when i was playing a man onstage. i couldnt stop tilting my hips #im down with all the possible effects of t. ive talked with transitioned trans men i know. im certain its right for me #but i keep getting scared itll just turn me into a totally different person fundamentally #anyway.#delete later #im drunk

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huni-bii · 3 months ago

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I think I messed up guys :)

#Bii sandrock rambles #I keep being seconds away from deleting cute silly salesman from rosemary lore #I get over the feelings relatively quick but then keep seeing MORE things that tell me I’ve been making a mistake this whole time #WHYD IT HAVE TO BE HIM…WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN QI OR SOMETHING!!!#nvm qi has mint. do any sandrock npcs have zero friends.#it’s ok!!!! not like I ever draw him anyways!!!! I can just pretend I never shipped em together!! it’s almost like there’s NO DAMN PROOF!!!#local woman takes videogame characters too seriously #it’s ok guys!!! I didn’t know he was already taken!! don’t worry about it!!!#that’s all my fault guys. gonna go back in time and tell myself to ship romie with someone else. wish I read the room like 6 months ago #I think I’ll get over this incredibly stupid and unreasonable feeling when I wake up tomorrow but gghhhhhhh brain is not doing so good rn

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imbeingtauntedbyachild · 4 months ago

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God it’s so embarrassing to hate vbs cuz of sensory issues

#og post #it’s only really w an and akito cuz they do this moan/growl thing w their Voice #I couldnt get past the first few seconds of ultra c it was such an awful feeling #I don’t wanna say i felt like I was gonna have a meltdown over it cuz I’m almost a fucking adult but god it #it was so bad #this isn’t to say I hate an and Akitos voices they sound fucking great it’s just the direction #this isn’t even limited to vbs btw #when I listen ti love ka I have to physically brace myself for ruis ending line i hate it so much #it’s so fucking violating and gross #proving to me that I would NOT enjoy breath play #anyways Back to what I was saying #I cant in good conscience Rank an and akito high in my fave vocals lo #list*#I KNOW theyre two of the best singers in the game #I FORGIT TO CESNOR THEIR FUCKING NAMES.#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjnnnnjm im so sorry aki and an Fans #wtv i can always delete this #self soothing techniques coming in clutch (no theyre not)

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rev-tone · 8 months ago

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honestly kind of afraid to post much here at all because I WAS doing it last year for a little bit until i got an anon one day wishing i die in agony from prostate cancer completely unprompted. The only reason that happened is because i had posted and tagged something innocuous and a random transphobe found it. and with twitter no longer having moments (and the posts that were put in them just removed so now nothing archived) and cohost like last 2 days just not letting ppl post photos idk where to put art anymore lol

#the simpler solution is to just keep off anon but the few times i ever get asks are on anon itsliek. idk i really dont think it matters #idk how much longer i'll even want to stay on this site but i say that about everything :\#and like i just want somewhere to put stuff i draw because i have fun and would like to think other people want to see it or would enjoy it #but also like what if i wake up and my sd card is corrupted and i just lose all the stuff ive drawn over liek 4 years i want it SOMEWHERE #growing up like basically anytime we moved my mom would either throw out or lose our stuff in a storage unit she couldnt keep up with rent #and i used to have a habit of deleting everything online when i deemed it wasnt worth being seen because of self depreciation so #sometimes it feels like theres no proof i ever existed before 2014 afterwards idk im insane maybe i shouldnt care about this shit #and like no matter what app or website im on im still seeing trans women harrassed and threatened constantly like why did i ever feel like #could be myself and show more of myself online its really no different than “IRL” i just dont think i'll ever be comfortable

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piningpercussionist · 9 months ago

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(ooc)

was just gonna be sneaky quiet for the day but I saw that I got another ask, so I figured I'd post somethin-

Weird writing day for me! That's why I haven't answered anything or gotten back to any threads yet. Trying to do art in the meantime; sorry for any delays y'all

#admittedly the not in standard continuity stuff is coming a bit easier but im just having a weird words day #so im trying to get myself to sketch or vaguely expand on au stuff for now #id try to work on fics but it is kinda just generally a weird words day i think. i couldnt continue the sckimona one at least (which i +#+really need to do before AO3 deletes that...)#i'll try another round of reply attempts tomorrow. if it doesnt go well expect art probably shdfkjshjlg #ooc #txt #(on that note. tentatively. you m i g h t be able to request things from me. maybe. you have a greater chance of me indulging you if it's +#+revolving around The Girls of course)#((meaning any of them. any of the scott pilgrim girls. that includes scott /hj))

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shaddy-bee · 1 year ago

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